


Sleeping with Ghosts

by kuki



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Animal Companions, Bittersweet Ending, Ghosts, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Suicide Attempt, Tags Contain Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 22:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuki/pseuds/kuki
Summary: A little piece of your soulmate lives with you through your life as an animal companion. When you die, that little piece returns to your soulmate to comfort them - even if you've never met.Keith is hoping for a fresh start in a new town with his brother as he begins his freshman year of college, but things don't go as well as he plans. As if the pity and judgement from his classmates at his two animals weren't enough, the odd occurrences in his house are starting to wear on him. It's almost as if he's being haunted.





	Sleeping with Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted else where but wasn't getting readership there. So have the sads

Everyone had a soulmate, it was a fact that no one could argue. Some argued that they could have more than one, or that they could live a happy life without having a relationship with their soulmate. No matter what else someone believed about soulmates and love, a piece of their soulmate traveled with them their whole lives.

Animals. A representation of their soulmate, until they met was a usually unnatural color. Bright orange pandas, lavender hamsters, that sort of thing. After soulmates met, they could mentally communicate with their animal to check on their soulmate, and they could project emotions or physical conditions onto their animal. There were people who thought it was creepy, being able to spy on someone like that; others thought it was sweet and intimate.

When someone died, the animal guide returns to their person. Their own representation stayed with their soulmate to comfort them. It was always apparent when someone lost their soulmate, they had two animals following them closely. Most who were like that were older people who had lived a full life with their soulmate by their side. It was so sad when it was someone young. 

An unlucky few never even get the chance to meet their soulmate, meeting their own animal representation but not the one it had protected. 

Keith walked out of the train station, his face down as he scrolled through texts from Shiro to double check that he’d gotten off at the right station. Once he found them, he looked up and around. A few people glanced over at him, their eyes flickering between him and the crimson tiger at his side. Large animals were rather rare, so they usually drew a bit of attention. He grabbed at the fur of the tiger and looked pointed to find street signs. There was scurrying from inside his backpack and he gripped onto the tiger harder when he felt something crawl out of it and onto his shoulder.

There were a few people that gasped. Keith heard the voice of a little girl, ‘Mommy, mommy, why does he have _two_ aminals? I want two!’ and her mother’s reply. ‘Sweetie, no you don’t, that means his soulmate died.’ He gripped the tiger’s fur harder as he felt him nudge his hip gently. There were other whispers. ‘But he’s so young.’

“Woah there little guy.” Shiro’s voice came from beside him as he felt the weight leave his shoulder. Keith looked over and saw the blue otter in the larger man’s hands. The otter looked pissed. “You alright Keith?”

The otter was struggling in Shiro’s hands and Keith let go of the tiger to hold out his hands. “Yeah, fine, give me Blue.”

Shiro raised an unimpressed eyebrow as he handed the squirming creature over. Keith cradled it close. “Blue only goes on the attack like that when you’re upset.”

Sighing, Keith looked down at the tiger who was looking up at him expectantly. “Just the usual. Can we go? I’ve been on that train for like two hours.”

“Okay, okay.” Shiro rolled his eyes, looking down at the tiger who huffed.

They started walking. The tiger stayed close to Keith’s legs to stay out of the way of the other people on the sidewalk. He kept Blue in his arms. Keith looked to the animal by Shiro’s side, a very soft pink female lioness, walking with her head held proudly.

“Hey Rose.”

The lioness glanced at him and nodded before looking ahead again. Shiro put a hand on the back of her neck with a smile. “So, are you excited?”

It was Keith’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “For what exactly?”

“Starting college! Moving out of Mom and Dad’s house? Living with me and Matt? Come on!” Shiro shook Keith’s shoulders gently, making Blue grab onto Keith’s jacket for fear of falling out of his arms.

“I’m just tired Shiro, from the train ride, and Mom and Dad smothering me before I left. I mean, they’re driving up this weekend to drop off the rest of my stuff so it’s not like…” Keith nuzzled into Blue’s fur when Shiro stopped shaking him, both to comfort the animal and to hide his face.

“They’re just worried about you, I mean, this is a big change and you don’t really have a great track record with change.” Shiro said it quietly, his eyes going to his brother’s fingerless gloves.

“I’m moving in with you, so it’s not like it’s going to be completely different.”

“Oh, yeah it is.” Grinning, Shiro patted his back. “But, you’ll get used to it, and maybe you’ll even have some fun. Maybe you’ll meet some cute boys at college and bring them home.”

Keith swallowed hard as he looked down at Blue, who looked up at him with sad eyes. “You know that I-I…”

“You can’t…”

“I’m not ready, please don’t joke about it… I’m just not ready.”

“Okay, sorry, I won’t bring it up again.” Shiro smiled at him. “But I can’t promise Matt won’t. I think he might’ve gotten you a sex kit or something…”

Keith groaned. The tiger nudged him again and Keith didn’t want to look down at him, knowing that he agreed with his brother.

The rest of the walk was spent in near silence. If they passed something important, Shiro would point to it and give Keith information about it, but he wasn’t really listening. His mind was on the two animals bound to him.

Blue had always been with him, making him smile even when his father died and laying with him after being hit by a foster parent. Even without talking, the otter could make him laugh, and Keith needed that more than anything. When he moved in with the Shiroganes and they adopted him, he still needed Blue to help him through the hell that was high school.

If his soulmate was anything like Blue, he had looked forward to meeting him. Someone to help him see the bright side of life, to force him to have fun when all he wanted to do was wallow. Meeting his soulmate had always been something he looked forward to.

There was one thing that Blue couldn’t help him through. The day the crimson tiger showed up. It was immediately clear that he was there for Keith, but it took him a few moments to figure out what it meant. He was inconsolable for hours as he dropped to his knees and grabbed onto the tiger, sobbing. There was no way that it was happening, not to Keith, not so young, is what he told himself over and over. His parents and Shiro had tried so hard to help him, but they couldn’t do what Blue failed to do, make him feel better. Whatever happened to his soulmate, he didn’t deserve to die so young.

When he walked into school, everyone immediately knew what happened. The whispers weren’t so well hidden that Keith didn’t hear them. He’d always been the odd one out, so suddenly having a dead soulmate didn’t help. Losing a soulmate made someone something of a pariah, especially in high school.

Keith was snapped out of his memory as he felt Blue settling into his arms so his nose was pressing against Keith’s wrist. He swallowed hard and looked down at the otter, who was staring at him. Blue didn’t want him to spiral down that road, the road to lead to him cutting his wrists deep, to him trying to meet his soulmate.

“You okay?”

“I-I… Are we going to be there soon? I really need to just lay down.” Keith looked up at his brother. Their parents had asked him that at least once a day, Shiro had already asked him twice. He was annoyed about it already.

“Just a couple more blocks.”

Once Shiro announced that they were there and walked to the door, Blue scampered out of Keith’s shoulders and onto the tiger’s back. They both didn’t follow after Keith as he walked up the steps. He looked back at them with confusion.

“Come on, this is our new home.” Keith creased his brows as he stared at the two animals. It took a few moments before the tiger started moving towards Keith, his movements slow and hesitant. He looked around and growled before stepping over the threshold.

It was only the beginning of weird experiences Keith had in his new house with Shiro and Matt.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Luckily for Keith, Matt and Shiro had been leaving him alone, letting him settle in. They forced him to eat with them, in the living room because their kitchen table was a collection of random junk neither man knew put there. The room was already furnished, so he was just waiting on the bulk of his clothes and some knick-knacks from Shiro’s parents. It was barren, but Keith didn’t mind, his room at the Shiroganes’ was almost as bare.

Shiro and Matt both had full time jobs. Shiro worked for the university now that he graduated. Matt was almost finished school and already had a job as a IT manager at one of the smaller companies in the city. Both of them had mentioned him getting a job – for something to do not because they were forcing him to pay rent. But it meant that he was home alone, and both Blue and the tiger were getting restless while Keith was content to lay in his bed.

The Shiroganes were just as overbaring as usual when they came that weekend to drop off Keith’s stuff. Shiro laughed and kept reminding his brother they were just worried about him. Keith was annoyed, but he just their mother unpack his clothes and their father inspect the room. Apparently neither of them had been in the room since Shiro had moved into the apartment when Matt started at the same school as him.

“Takashi.” Their father said as Shiro was walking past the door, and Shiro popped his head in the door.

“What’s up Dad?”

“This room, everything is newer than the rest of the house, the trim, the floors, the switches. Did something happen in here?”

“Uh, yeah. A couple of years ago, there was a house fire, it started in this room so it got most of the damage. The landlord had to basically rebuild it.” Shiro looked around the room and sighed. “It looks good though.”

When their parents left, they both hugged him tightly, making both Shiro and Matt promise to keep Keith out of trouble.

Keith was ready for school to start so he’d have something to do.

It was the middle of the night, he had stayed up late talking to Pidge about how her school year was going, she was mind numbingly bored without her brother or pseudobrothers. He had just laid in bed and set his phone down. Blue was curled up under one of his arms and the tiger was laying against his back. And the door creaked open.

“Shiro?” Keith called, but didn’t getting an answer. “Matt?”

And then the light switched on of its own accord. There was no one there. The tiger had sat up and started growling. Blue was clinging to his shirt. The scent of smoke was sudden and Keith climbed out of bed.

He stepped into the hallway and didn’t smell any smoke. “Hello?”

As he stood there for a moment, holding Blue against his chest, he silently prayed for nothing to answer back. He stepped back into his room and shut the door. The scent was gone. After turning off the light, he checked the time. It was just after midnight. Keith didn’t get much sleep that night.

He didn’t mention it when Matt and Shiro mentioned he looked tired, just continued sorting his binders and textbooks for his classes.

Blue and the tiger didn’t seem to want to go into the room after that though. Anytime he went into get something, they both stayed out in the hallway. They only joined him when it was time to sleep, and only after a large amount of coaxing on Keith’s part.

It happened again the night before classes started, and Keith was asleep this time. He woke with a start and so did his animal companions. This time he didn’t stick around, grabbing his phone and heading down to the living room. Before he laid down, he checked the time, and it was almost the exact time as the last occurrence. 

Shiro shook him awake that morning and looked concerned. Keith opened his eyes with a groan. “Why are you down here? You left your light on.”

“I-I… Just a… weird dream.” Keith held his head as he sat up. “What time is it?”

“You have time before your first class, don’t worry.” Shiro still had his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “You’ve been out of it lately, are sure you’re okay?”

Keith paused his movements and his eyes focused on his wrist that was close to his face, and the long scars on it. Swallowing hard, he looked at Shiro. “That fire, in my room… did… anyone die?”

“What?”

“Nevermind, I’m being stupid.” Keith pushed Shiro back gently so he could stand up. Shiro sighed, calling his name as Keith walked away.

He wasn’t sure what he thought. Keith didn’t believe in ghosts, and even if he did. With a sigh, he let his thoughts trail off, looking down at the tiger that was glued to his side. He heard Shiro say his name softly, but he just headed up to his room. Again, Blue and the tiger stayed outside the door as Keith got dressed.

As he walked across the campus later, Blue sitting on the tiger’s back as he walked, he could feel the eyes on him. The whispers were a little more concealed, but he heard enough. It had been long enough that he should’ve been used to it, but he probably would never be used to it. During his first two classes of the day, no one talked to him. Professors barely looked in his direction, even as they took attendance.

Matt found him sitting in the quad while he had down time before his next class. He kept asking Keith about his first day, but Keith just kept eating the wrap he got at one of the cafes and avoiding his questions. There was still one more class he had to sit through the first day bullshit, but he was so ready to go home.

“Hey, you’re in my 11 o’clock writing class, right?” A tall, round, dark skinned boy said with a small, timid voice as he sunk into the seat next to his.

Keith stared at him for a while before remembering seeing him earlier that day. He had come in late, after Blue had hidden himself snuggly in his backpack. “Y-Yeah… Uh, name’s Keith.”

“You can call me Hunk.” The boy smiled at him softly. While they both sat in silence, Keith glanced at the odd ball resting on Hunk’s lap. An mossy colored armadillo. He didn’t let his gaze linger, it was rude to stare at someone else’s animal. It was taboo to even acknowledge them until some kind of relationship has been established.

But then Keith noticed Hunk staring at the tiger and swallowed hard. Blue was in his backpack again and the tiger was resting with his eyes closed, but the way Hunk was looking at the cat made him uncomfortable. Neither of them said anything though, and Hunk looked forward as the professor walked into the classroom and slammed a pile of papers onto the front desk.

After class, Keith was shoving stuff into the bag, Blue crawling up his arm and onto his shoulders as he rummaged around. He closed his eyes tightly when he heard Hunk make a sharp intake of breath.

“So, what are you doing after class?” Hunk said, trying to ignore the otter perched on Keith’s shoulder.

“I was just going to head home…” Keith said it quietly, not looking up at him. He could hear the tiger getting up next to him.

“Oh, so… you live around here? I grew up here, so I know most of the people…” Hunk trailed off, his eyes going to the tiger again.

“I moved here… live in an apartment with my brother and a friend.” Keith took a deep breath and stood up. He wasn’t sure why he was telling Hunk this, but it couldn’t hurt. His brother was always telling him he should make friends. But it was more than that, he felt like he knew Hunk already, even though they had definitely only just met.

“Oh, do they go here?” Hunk was standing up too, his focus back to Keith’s face.

“Y-Yeah. Matt’s a senior electrical engineering major, and Shiro graduated two years ago but he works for the admissions office now.” Keith reached up for Blue when he started chittering next to his ear. The otter was also constantly trying to get him to make friends.

Hunk’s eyes went wide as he picked up the armadillo that was no longer in a ball. “Matt Holt and Takashi Shirogane?”

Sighing, Keith started walking out now that they were among the last two in the room. “Of course everyone knows who they are.”

“Oh, sorry, they’re just kind of, super cool… but you…” Hunk was walking next to him, but both boys looked down at the tiger as he nuzzled into Hunk’s legs.

Keith felt himself pale as he watched the tiger paw at his Hunk’s legs when they both stopped walking. The tiger was always even more distant with people than Keith was himself, he’d bitten several people who had tried to get too familiar with him too quickly, but with Hunk, it was the same way he’d go to Shiro or Pidge to get attention if Keith wasn’t giving it to him. It was like him and Hunk were old friends.

His breathing hitched as he felt Hunk’s hand scratch behind the tiger’s ear. It was too much, and he immediately turned and started sprinting down the hall away from Hunk. People yelled at him as he pushed through the crowds, and then the screams when the tiger all but ran them over in an attempt to keep up with him. 

He didn’t stop running until he was in a mostly secluded part of the quad. Keith tried to catch his breath, but it was so hard when his mind was racing. Blue was made a host of worried noises, still clinging to his hair for his life. His eyes focused on the tiger as he moved closer, and Keith couldn’t stop the tears as they fell down his cheeks.

“Did… did my soulmate know him?” Keith said it as more of a whisper as he reached for the tiger. The tiger licked at the tips of his fingers before nuzzling into his palm. Letting out a sob, Keith reached to pull the tiger closer. He sobbed into his fur, like he hadn’t in a long time.

When he finished crying, he wiped his face and headed back home, locking himself away in his room. Blue and the tiger both sat in bed with him, but they both seemed skittish, jumping at every little noise. He was glad to have them both with him, and he was glad that neither Shiro or Matt asked him what happened.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Keith went to class the next day but didn’t see Hunk at all while he was on campus. It was glad for, because he wasn’t exactly what to say to him. He skipped classes the next day, making sure that neither Shiro or Matt caught him. He may have been an adult, but he didn’t exactly want to hear the two of them lecturing him about skipping his third day of classes.

That night the door opened and the light switched on again. Keith held his breath as things continued opening. First his closet door then his dresser drawers. The light flickered out again and then the smell of smoke and stifling heat engulfed him. Blue and the tiger were both tight against his side as he closed his eyes tightly.

Then there was a blood curdling scream, accompanied by the tiger whimpering pitifully. Once the scream stopped, the lights turned back on as the smell and heat disappeared. Keith could see his drawers and doors were still open. Matt and Shiro were both standing in his doorway, staring at him.

“Keith! What the fuck?” Matt looked annoyed, his hair sticking everywhere from sleep.

“You okay?” Shiro looked worried. Keith screamed like that when he woke up from nightmares when he was younger, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t his own scream.

Keith could feel himself shaking as he curled into a ball. “I-I…” Both of his animals were on edge, their hackles raised as they were pressed against him. He was scared, so scared, like he hadn’t been since he was a kid.

“Hey, hey, calm down. You’re alright.” Shiro sat on the bed and reached for him. “What happened?”

Shaking his head, Keith sobbed a few times. “It… The door, the lights… it wasn’t… it just happened and then…”

“Okay, okay. Why don’t you come sleep in my room tonight? Would that help? Like when we were kids?” Shiro ran his fingers through Keith’s hair, trying to smile. “Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out.”

Keith sobbed again as he nodded, reaching towards Shiro. “I-I…”

Shiro shushed him and stood back up. “Come on. We’ll deal with this tomorrow.”

As Keith laid with his chest buried in Shiro’s chest, he felt more at ease. A little awkward, since they were grown ass men who weren’t in a relationship, but at ease in his brother’s arms. Shiro had fallen asleep while trying to reassure Keith, but the younger man was still awake. There wasn’t enough room for the tiger or Rose to be on the bed with them, but Blue was on the pillow next to Keith’s head

Even with Shiro holding him tightly, he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened in his room. Moving away from their parents, meeting new people was supposed to help. But this was only making it so much worse.

The next night, he spent the night with Shiro again, not even attempting to go into his own room. He hadn’t actually gone into his room, and basically yelled at Matt or Shiro anytime he thought either was going in. Nothing woke him up at least.

He tried going into his room later, but found that the light was still on. The closet door and dresser drawers were shut. His bed was made. His fucking bed was made. Holding onto the door frame, he yelled for Matt and Shiro. 

Both came running and looked into the room. Shiro’s hand was firmly on his back as he shared a look with Matt.

“Please tell me one of you did this.” Keith was surprised about how steady his voice sounded.

“Did what?” Matt sounded honestly confused as he looked at Keith.

“Fixed it.” He motioned into his room.

“The only thing I did was turn off your light yesterday.” Shiro looked down at his brother with a frown.

“What the fuck…” Keith said quietly as he took a step into the room. He was shaking slightly as he reached for his bed. “Am I really… is this really happening?”

“Is what happening? Being haunted by a ghost? I’m going to go with yeah.” Matt said, and Keith whipped his head around to watch him shrug. Shiro glared at his best friend before glancing at Keith again.

“We’ll figure this out. If it’ll help, we can switch rooms or…”

“No, it’s not fair to you. I’m not even helping pay rent…” Keith bit his lip. “I-I… I can learn to live with this.”

“Keith…” Shiro’s voice was soft and Keith hated when it did that. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I-I…” He glanced at the closet and then at the tiger and Blue standing out in the hall with Rose, all three of the animals looking into the room. “I do.”

“You heard the man, until the ghost starts throwing stuff at him or scratching him, I say we let him be stubborn.” Matt hit Shiro’s arm gently. “In the mean time, I’m going to do some research.”

“And by research you mean marathoning Ghost Adventures and Buzzfeed Unsolved?” Shiro rolled his eyes as Matt walked away. He glanced back at Keith. “Are you sure? We could figure something else out.”

“I-I… I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”

That night, the door creaked open, the light turned on, and that was it. Keith didn’t even smell the smoke or feel the heat. He took a few deep breaths as he got up to turn the light back off, but paused as he passed through a cold patch. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s… it’s over, there’s no more fire here.”

As soon as he finished talking the cold disappeared and he felt a comforted ease fall over him. “Talking to ghosts, I’m definitely losing it.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Keith blew Hunk off the next day after their first class together. He had another class to get to and didn’t want whatever Hunk had to say to distract him, especially since he had missed so much information from his one skip day. After their second class, he fully intended to apologize, and maybe find out for sure if the tiger knew him, if Hunk knew his soulmate.

“Hunk.” Keith walked to the back of the classroom where Hunk had sat away from him after the lecture was over. The other boy looked up at him. “I-I… I’m so-…”

“No, I should apologize, I… we just met and I touched your…” Hunk huffed as he glanced at the tiger.

“It’s okay.” Keith reached down to grip at the tiger’s fur as Blue tugged at his hair gently. “Do you want to grab a coffee or something and talk?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Hunk got up and smiled.

They didn’t talk until they were sitting in a secluded corner of the student union. Keith was petting the tiger who was sitting calmly next to him while Blue and the armadillo were play fighting between them.

“So, they got along pretty quickly?” Hunk looked down at the two animals with a sad smile. It was odd for animals to interact so quickly.

“Hunk… th-… my tiger doesn’t usually approach strangers like he did the other day.” Keith glanced down at him. The animal was staring up at him encouragingly. “I-I…”

“Keith, when did he die? Your soulmate?” Hunk frowned at him.

“It… I was seventeen, three years ago. We’re getting close to the anniversary actually, it’s next month.” Keith closed his eyes tightly, trying not to remember the feelings associated with that day.

“I-I… I had a friend who died three years ago, he… he had a red tiger, he called him Ardor.”

Keith heard the tiger purr at the mention of the name and looked down at him again. “Ardor?”

Nodding, he rested his head against his paws, still purring. Keith felt sick as his heart pounded in his chest. His gaze went back to Hunk.

“S-So… you’re…” Hunk’s eyes were wide, and Keith could see signs of tears pooling in them.

Swallowing hard, Keith looked down at his coffee. His mouth felt so dry. “What was his name?”

“Lance.” As soon as Hunk said it, Ardor made a pitiful sound and Blue ran up onto Keith’s lap. Keith hugged the otter close to his chest, burying his face in the fur.

Hunk cleared his throat after a few moments of awkward, sad silence. Keith glanced up at him and saw that the armadillo was in his lap.

“So, who’s the little guy?” Hunk was smiling at the otter, who peaked his head out of Keith’s arms to look back at him.

“This is Blue.” Keith grumbled. He hated introducing the otter. He hadn’t been exactly creative when he named him when he was kid. “And…”

“This is Rocky.” Hunk chuckled as he patted the armadillo’s head. “She’s usually pretty shy too, so… but he- Lance used to play fight her like that too.”

Smiling sadly, Keith held Blue closer. He could feel Ardor put his chin on his knee. “I’m sorry… for your loss.”

“He was your…”

“But I didn’t know him… finding out he died, it broke me, but I didn’t… he was your friend.” 

“He was the best friend. We’d known each other since we started high school.” Hunk closed his eyes as his voice lowered. “We were both planning on coming here… he was always talking about his soulmate, how cool he must’ve been to have a tiger as his representation.”

Keith felt his face flush as he stared at Hunk. He wanted to say something but couldn’t think of anything.

Hunk let out a bark of laughter. “He called Ardor a ‘she’ until about half way through freshmen year when he had his bisexual awakening and then accidently found himself finding out his companion’s gender.”

Ardor huffed, rolling his head on Keith’s leg. Keith couldn’t help but smile. “Sounds like an idiot.”

“Yeah, that was Lance, but he was smart where it counted. He was so good, always taking care of other people. Sometimes he forgot about himself.” Hunk frowned slightly, wiping his eyes.

Keith reached towards Hunk. “I wish I could’ve met him.”

Hunk rummaged through his pocket and pulled out his phone. He tapped and swiped on the phone for a while before holding it out to Keith. It was a picture of Hunk, obviously younger, and another boy. “This was Lance.”

He took the phone with shaking hands and stared at the boy. They were at the beach, so Keith could see Lance’s toned muscles. His hair was damp, curling at the ends, and there was sand sticking to him. The smile on his face was huge. But what Keith stared at the most was the bright blue eyes focused at the camera. “He was… beautiful.”

“Yeah. He knew it too.” Hunk chuckled as he took the phone back. “He was quite the ladies’ man, well and boys too, ya know.”

“D-Did he ever… date?” Keith regretting asking. He hadn’t looked for a partner, even after his soul-… Lance died. It had always just been his soulmate.

“He talked a big flirt game, but he wanted to be loyal.” Hunk smiled at him. “Have you? Since he’s…”

“No.” Keith hung his head down. “I-I… I’m not ready.”

Hunk’s hand was heavy on his shoulder. “He’d want you to move on.”

“I’m not ready.”

They sat in silence for a little while longer, before Keith looked up at Hunk again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrogate you about him…”

“It’s okay. I’d be curious too.” Hunk gave him a reassuring smile. “And it’s nice to talk about him. Most of our other friends went out of state for college.”

“Yeah, but…” Keith sighed and shook his head. “What’s your major?”

Hunk rolled his eyes before answering. They sat and talked for a little while, about themselves and their shared interests. Keith felt a bit pathetic that he could only make friends with someone his soulmate knew, but at least it was a friend. Matt and Shiro were always telling him to make new friends. He’d probably get along with Pidge, they both were way smarter than him and went on technology rants.

Keith only cut their conversation short when he got a call from Shiro, wondering where he was. He hadn’t realized it had gotten so late. As he said goodbye to Hunk, he felt hopeful for the future. It was surprisingly easy to talk to him, but a part of him did already know the other boy. Ardor bumped his head into Keith’s knee. He must’ve been glad to be reunited to an old friend.

*-*-*-*-*-*

He was humming as he sat in the living room after dinner, looking up some topics for his first paper for his writing class. Ardor was sitting next to him on the couch, taking up the rest of it. After he first saw Ardor and realized what he meant, he always thought if he met someone that knew his soulmate, he’d be sad. Keith was surprised that he felt happy, but it felt good. Hearing about his perfect match, maybe it was just what he needed to let go.

“You seem awfully chipper.” Shiro sat in the arm chair with a cup of coffee, his eyes on his brother.

Keith looked up at him and then down at Ardor. “Oh, yeah… just… Ardor helped me make a friend today.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Ardor? You finally named him?”

Shaking his head, he scratched behind the tiger’s ear. “My new friend… h-he recognized him… he was friends with my soulmate.”

Choking on his coffee, Shiro’s eyes went comically wide as he stared at the younger man. “What? Are you okay? Do you need…”

“I’m fine Shiro. It was… nice hearing about him, and… it wasn’t like meeting a new friend, it was like seeing an old friend again.” Keith leaned down to press his face to Ardor’s.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you getting obsessed, lost in finding out about him.”

“Knowing more… it’ll help me mourn him, get some closure. Maybe I can finally move on.”

Shiro smiled as he reached down to pet Rose. “Okay. If you’re okay, then I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks Shiro.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Every night that week, Keith was woken up by his ghost. Just the light and the door, occasionally the heat, but no screaming or slamming. It was getting easy to fall asleep after fixing what the ghost did. He tried to keep himself from talking to it, but sometimes he couldn’t help but call out. Blue and Ardor still hated being in the room. Keith was pretty sure neither of them slept while he did, especially since they both ended up falling asleep while he was in class.

He and Hunk didn’t spend a lot of time together, but Keith was happy when he got the chance to. Hunk was more than happy to talk about Lance, but Keith also learned a lot about Hunk. Keith was never one to open up, but he tried his best to talk to Hunk.

The other boy loved cooking but had a mind for engineering. He had a big family who supported him in both his endeavors. Him and his soulmate hadn’t met yet, and like Lance and Keith, he was waiting on her before he got into a relationship. Keith learned that Hunk was a little on the paranoid side, and was a pacifist until forced to be otherwise. 

Keith told him about the Shiroganes and that he was adopted, that he got into a lot of trouble as a kid. Hunk suggested that Keith join the MMA club, and Keith was legitimately considering it. He glossed over how bad his depression was after Lance died, mentioning that he had to repeat the eleventh grade because of it and how he took a gap year before college. Mostly he talked about Shiro, because bragging about his older brother was easier than talking about himself.

It was nice, especially when Hunk was supportive and understanding when he mentioned the dark parts of his past, instead of judging him. It was nice hearing that there wasn’t anything wrong with him from someone new.

“So, uh… when you start looking, are you only going to be looking for other people with… ya know…?” Hunk rubbed the back of his neck. They had been talking about Lance, and how he used to write songs for his soulmate, as well as guys and girls he had crushes on that had led to talking about soulmates in general.

Keith ducked his head and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Have you not thought about?”

“No, I definitely have… it’s just… it’s unusual for… young people to have lost their soulmate.” Keith rubbed his forehead. He heard it all the time. He’d never seen anyone younger than thirty walking around with two animals. “But I-I… if I dated someone who was still waiting on their soulmate, I know I’d just end up with my heartbroken.”

“You don’t know that for sure. I mean… Soulmates aren’t the only people in the world capable of loving…”

“I know, I know… but it’s rare for anyone to pick someone over their soulmate.” Keith glanced up at Hunk. “It’s part of the reason I’m not ready.”

“I have been told that I make an excellent wingman, so when you are ready, let me know.” Hunk smiled at him. “Lance would want you to find happiness, to find love.”

Without warning, Keith started sobbing. Blue and Ardor both sprung into action to comfort him, but quickly moved out of the way when Hunk went in for a hug.

“I’m sorry.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

It had been a few weeks, classes were in full swing and being woken up by his ghost was an almost nightly occurrence, but it hadn’t escalated. The longest time Keith went without was the weekend Pidge spend at the apartment, so she didn’t even believe her boys when they told her about Keith’s haunting. She did immediately spark a bromance with Hunk when he introduced the two, leaving Keith sitting there with whiplash as they talked science. Keith still hadn’t actually invited Hunk over yet, but had still introduced him to Shiro and Matt.

Matt had done enough research to tell Keith that his haunting seemed to be a residual haunting. The time Keith was woken up fit the records of when the fire started, so the spirit was just reliving its last few minutes before its death. Though, Matt couldn’t find the records of who exactly had died in the fire but was planning on doing a little more digging.

Then things escalated. Keith started seeing a figure. He’d see it in two different ways: peaceful blue-ish smoke, lingering at the doorway; or fire moving around his room, partnered with the overwhelming scent of burning flesh. Stupidly, he tried talking to both of them, but he didn’t get a response. He could tell they were the same entity, he got the same energy from both manifestations. The first few times he saw the fire, he rushed into Shiro’s room, sobbing in fear as he curled up against his brother.

It was getting close to the first break when things got really weird. Hunk had just told Keith about Lance’s family, how big it was, how important it was to Lance. Keith had declined when Hunk asked if he wanted to meet them. As much as he did, it was a little too weird, a little too awkward. But that wasn’t the weird thing. The figure started talking, calling out, different things depending on its form. It was a male voice, younger than Keith was. He spoke in broken Spanish, calling for people who no longer lived there. At first it was obvious that it was part of the loop the ghost was stuck in, but it changed.

“Hello? I-I… I don’t know what’s going on.” The voice was coming from the smoke. “I don’t feel anything… everything looks different but this is… I-I…”

Keith swallowed hard as he stared at the form, holding onto Blue and Ardor tightly. “It’s okay. You’re okay… you’re… er… you’re dead.”

“Hello? Hello?” But then nothing else like it hadn’t heard him. Keith never talked back to it when it called out while it was on fire but didn’t see any harm in calling out to it when it was smoke.

Keith had just gotten off the phone with Hunk, he was going to spend the night in a few days since it was break. They had a big project to work on for the one class they had together, so it would be perfect. Hunk’s place didn’t have quite the space that Keith’s did.

The smoke was near his bed when he walked in. Keith checked the phone and it was no where near the time that the ghost was supposed to appear, and it had never been at the position, even as a fiery vison that ran around his room.

“Hello?” Keith called, holding his phone tightly.

The smoke disappeared for a moment before reappearing slightly farther away. “Hello?”

“C-Can you hear me?” Keith was shaking as he stared unblinkingly at the ghost.

“You… you can see me?”

Keith felt like he was being stared at, even if the thing didn’t have eyes. “Y-Yeah… I’ve been seeing you for a while. You haven’t seemed to see me.”

“Oh… who… who are you?”

“My name is Keith. D-Do you know… what you are?”

“I-I… I’m not sure.”

Keith closed his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to have to tell this young boy that he was dead, that he was a ghost. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I woke up to the smell of smoke, there was an electrical short or something. I tried getting out, but my window had security bars and the ceiling came down in front of the door… I-I…”

“You died.” Keith said softly when he heard something close to a sob from the ghost. “You’re a ghost.”

“Oh my god…” More sobbing and Keith took a few steps towards the ghost. “Are you a ghost?”

“Uh… No? At least I don’t think so.” Keith frowned, looking down at his arms and then at Ardor and Blue standing in the doorway. “It’s okay, just calm down, okay?”

“I’m fucking dead! How am I supposed to be calm!” The figure flared into flames and Keith took several large steps backwards.

“Hey, hey, it’s… you died in a terrible, scary way, but… but it’s over now and…” Keith closed his eyes again, trying to find something to say. “It’s going to be okay. I-I… I’m going to try to help you figure this out, okay?”

The fire disappeared back into smoke and Keith felt a calming aura fill the room. Then the figure disappeared. Keith called out for it a few times before sighing and going back to what he had originally planned on doing in the room.

But after that, Blue and Ardor refused go in the room, even when Keith slept. The ghost didn’t show up to do his nightly rituals in the few nights before Hunk came over, but they did talk for a short while during the day while Matt and Shiro were both out of the house.

The ghost didn’t seem to remember much about himself, except that he had a family, and that he was sixteen when he died. He didn’t even remember his name, but he could remember some of his siblings’ names. Keith wanted to help but wasn’t sure how to go about it. Matt had looked up some stuff about the fire. That was probably the best way to start. Maybe he could help the ghost find closure and move on.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Keith answered the door, excited to have Hunk stay over, but his smile fell when he saw how pale his new friend looked. He swallowed hard as he moved out of the way so he could come into the house. “Y-You okay?”

Hunk wasn’t really looking at him, his eyes looking around the entryway. “This was his house.”

“What? W-Whose house?” Keith knew, but he wanted to be in denial. He wanted Hunk to say something about some random person her knew and not…

“Lance.” Hunk said the name quietly. 

Keith felt his chest tighten painfully, Ardor rushing to his side from where he had been laying on the couch. Blue gently hit his face to try to get him to breath.

“Keith, Keith… buddy.” Hunk sounded panicked as he moved closer to his friend. Keith was starting to feel his knees buckle, but Hunk put his hand on his shoulders, keeping him upright. “Hey, its okay…”

“H-He… he died here… didn’t he?” Keith closed his eyes tightly, feeling tears roll down his face. He had never asked Hunk how Lance had died, and he wasn’t sure he was ever going to, but things were suddenly different. A part of him wanted Hunk to tell him that Lance had died somewhere else, but a part of his hoped that he had because it meant…

“Yeah… he… a freak accident that caused a house fire…” Hunk’s voice waivered as he pulled Keith into a tight hug.

The ghost that had been haunting him was Lance. He had met his soulmate. Keith wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

After they both calmed down, Hunk asked if Keith wanted to talk about it. He didn’t. He didn’t want to think about it. He couldn’t exactly tell Hunk that his soulmate was haunting him. There was no way the other boy would believe him. Keith did ask Hunk not to mention it to Shiro or Matt. He didn’t think they’d understand, not the way Keith needed them to.

If Keith had found out that his soulmate had died in his house – in his bedroom – before he started seeing the ghost, he’d probably assume he was just hallucinating, but the hauntings started first. He still felt a little crazy.

But he had to keep focused on the reason Hunk had come over. It was harder than he thought it would be. He kept finding his gaze going towards the stairs, thinking about whether the smoky mass that was more than likely his soulmate was in his room. Luckily, him and Hunk fell asleep in the living room while working on their projects and he didn’t go upstairs at all while Hunk was there.

Hunk offered to stay, but Keith declined. He felt uneasy, because he’d be alone in the house for a while, alone with the ghost of his soulmate. His friend could probably sense it, but they still weren’t at a point where Hunk could push to stay. Keith snapped him last time he tried to dig too deep.

Once Hunk was gone, he rested against the door and stared at his two animals. They had both been keeping their distance since Keith had figured out the ghost was probably Lance, but had their eyes on him. “You both knew didn’t you?”

They both just continued staring at him. It was times like that that Keith wished the animals could talk. Everything would be so much easier if the animals could just talk.

“Why didn’t…” Keith looked away. It was a stupid question. They couldn’t tell him, but if they could’ve, they knew what he would do. He was thinking of it all ready. He should’ve let Hunk stay.

His hands were shaking as he pulled his phone from his pocket. There was an itch on his wrists that he’d felt before, and there was only one way to get rid of it. He promised Shiro and their parents that he would never try again.

“Hey Keith, what’s up?” Shiro sounded slightly annoyed about being interrupted while at work, but if he didn’t want to talk to Keith, he wouldn’t have answered. “It’s a little slow so…”

“I need you to come home.” Keith was surprised at how level his voice sounded, since he felt like he was about to fall apart.

“Everything alright?” Worry. He should be worry.

“N-No. Th-The itch is back and I-I… I don’t know how long I can…” Keith bit his knuckle to keep himself from sobbing. “I can’t do this Shiro…”

“Just hold on for a few minutes, okay? I’m heading home right now.” Shiro said something muffled to someone else, and Keith could hear movement. “Where are you right now?”

“Living room… H-Hunk just left.” Keith closed his eyes. “B-Blue and Ar-Ardor are here but…”

“Keith, breath, buddy, breath.” Shiro’s voice was soft, but Keith could tell he was hurrying.

“I’m trying…”

“Talk to me. Did something happen?”

Keith whined. He had to tell Shiro. He really didn’t want to. “It’s Lance. The ghost in my room… it’s Lance.”

“Keith… you… why are you saying that?”

“Hunk… Lance lived in our house… Lance died in our house.” Keith couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore as he slid onto the floor.

“Keith, Keith. That doesn’t mean that it’s him.”

“Who else could it be? I-I’ve talk to him… I-I…”

“You what?” Shiro sounded angry, and Keith guess he understood, but it didn’t stop him from flinching at his brother’s tone. “Keith, that was… did he talk back?”

“Y-Yeah… I just…” Keith pinched his phone between his shoulder and jaw to push up his sleeve and take off his gloves. His eyes were fixed on the scars he had left there, some had mostly faded, but the big ones cut down were still prominent. “I want to be with him Shiro. I-I…”

“Keith, you will be someday, but not today okay? He would want you to live your life.” Shiro sounded as desperate Keith felt. Keith hated himself for making Shiro feel like that, but it was helping, just enough to keep himself from crawling into the kitchen.

Whining again, Keith didn’t know what else to say. He just knew he needed Shiro to keep talking.

“Hey, you still there?” Shiro said after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah.” Keith said it quietly, his eyes still fixed on his scars. “I-I… keep talking.”

“Okay.” Shiro started spouting more ‘you have so much to live for’ bullshit, but Keith didn’t care what Shiro was saying, just that he was talking. When he ran out of that, he started complaining about work and the people he worked with. Keith didn’t say anything but would make a noise when Shiro stopped to make sure Keith was still there.

“How you holding up tiger? You still…?”

“Don’t hang up, please.” Keith’s tears had run dry. Ardor and Blue had moved to sit on either side of him, trying to calm him down. They weren’t helping.

“I won’t. I’m almost there. Just stay with me.”

“I’m trying Shiro, I’m trying.” Keith glanced at Ardor who licked at his wrist. He’d wondered what would happen to the tiger and the otter when he died, the first time he tried, but he wasn’t sure if he cared. Neither were really real, they were just a projection of him and Lance. But they both felt so real as they tried to comfort him. He reached over and scratched behind the tiger’s ears. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, I understand, I just need you to stay.”

Keith didn’t have the heart to tell his brother that he wasn’t apologizing to him.

It was still way longer than Keith thought he could hold out for before there were keys in the door. Keith started moving away, but wasn’t quick enough as the door slammed into him.

“Ow.” Keith said weakly as he looked up at his brother, who had panic filling his eyes.

“Keith, I’m sorry…” Shiro bent down to kneel next to him, the door still open. “Are you hurt?”

“Fine… probably going to leave a bruise though.” Keith looked away from Shiro. Seeing his brother in person, Rose huffing at his side with worry, made him feel stupid for feeling that itch. It didn’t completely alleviate it though.

“You okay?” Shiro ran his fingers through Keith’s hair.

“B-Better now that I’m not alone.” Keith closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He ran his fingers over on of his wrists. It was so hard to say it out loud, but he knew Shiro would help him somehow. “Want some kind of release still.”

“But you don’t want to go anymore?”

“N-Not right now.”

“Stay right here.” Shiro stood back up, closing the door before walking away. Keith put his head between his knees and took some deep breaths as he waited for Shiro to come back. When he did, Keith looked up and saw Shiro holding something out to him.

With a shaky hand, Keith took it and almost felt like laughing as he stared at it. “A butter knife? Are you joking?”

“You can’t actually hurt yourself with it, but… but you can get the motion and the pressure…” Shiro rubbed the back of his neck. “I just want you to be okay, and if this will keep you from…”

“Thank you.” Keith swallowed as he turned the knife in his hand. If he tried hard enough, he could probably draw blood, but the effort would draw more blood than would sate him for the moment. “C-Could you… I can’t… please…”

“I’ll be back in a little.” Shiro glanced at Blue. “Make sure he doesn’t draw any blood.”

The otter nodded as he crawled onto Keith’s lap. Shiro gave Keith a forced smile before heading up the stairs.

Keith stood up on shaky legs, glancing at Shiro’s back. “What are you going to do?”

“See if I can talk to your soulmate.” Shiro said with a sigh. Ardor’s ears perked up.

“Go with him.” Keith said as he sat on the couch, holding Blue close. The tiger ran up the steps after Shiro.

Blue made a pitiful whimpering sound as Keith put his hand on his lap, wrist up. He put the edge of the blade to his wrist and let out a shuddering breath. As it moved across his skin, it was cold like he was used to, but there wasn’t any pain, just the pressure. It was almost enough. So, he picked up the knife and did it again, and again. He sobbed as he did, Blue holding onto him as if he was hugging him.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Shiro walked into Keith’s room and looked around. Rose had her hackles raised next to him, but Ardor just walked in and sat next to the bed. He made a pitiful whining sound that made Shiro wonder if he was feeling what Keith was feeling.

“Hello? Are you there?” Shiro said quietly, kindly. It reminded him of when he first met Keith, hiding behind a dumpster crying after getting into a fight and too afraid of getting in trouble to go back to his foster home. “I won’t hurt you. I’m Keith’s older brother.”

He waited for a while before he called out again.

“Where’s Keith?” A smoky figure appeared near Ardor.

“Down stairs. He’s… upset.”

“Oh. Why?” The spirit sounded genuinely concerned.

“Because…” Shiro took a deep breath as he watch Ardor paw at the smoke, but the smoke didn’t seem to notice at all. “Your name, it’s Lance, isn’t it?”

“I-I…” The smoke flickered away, leaving a trace of blue eyes and the outline of a face. It flickered back as fire, letting out a pitiful yell. Then it was gone, the same blue eyes. The smoke again. “How…”

“Your friend Hunk came by. He said that a boy named Lance died here. Is that you?”

It flickered away again. Shiro stood there for a while, staring at the space. Ardor was still pawing at thin air. Then the slightly transparent image of a teenage boy. Blue eyes, tan skin, pajamas.

Lance looked down at his hands and then to the side. His eyes went wide as he saw the tiger. “Ar-Ardor?”

The tiger mewed at him, the same way that he had when Keith asked pitifully if he was his tiger.

“W-Why are you here? Why aren’t you with my soulmate?” Lance reached down and ran his fingers through the fur of the tiger, who whined at him.

“He is. Your soulmate… is downstairs right now.” Shiro took a few steps towards the ghost. It was a little less terrifying seeing him as a boy and not a pillar of smoke. “Keith…”

“What?” Lance buried his face in the tiger’s fur. “You’re serious right now?”

“Yes.” Shiro reached out to touch the boy’s shoulder, but his hand went through him. Lance faded away from a moment, starting with his shoulder blurring. When the boy reappeared he was standing near the door, staring out into the hallway. “He’s… he’s had a rough time since Ardor showed up three years ago.”

Lance reached out into the hallway and he disappeared again. He was sitting under the window when he reappeared again. “I guess I can’t leave this room.”

“Lance, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault I died. It was an accident.” Lance rubbed his face as Ardor walked over, licking him. “I just… will seeing me like this… make him… worse?”

“I honestly don’t know. He’s… he’s in a bad place right now.” Shiro rubbed his neck, not looking at the teen. “I-I… need to go back downstairs and check on him.”

“I-I’ll try to be here. It’s hard…” 

“If he’s up for it, I’ll send him up.” Shiro turned and headed back down stairs.

He found Keith on the couch, clutching Blue as his entire body shook, but Shiro could tell he wasn’t crying. The butter knife was on the floor.

“Keith.” Shiro called and Keith glanced up through his hair. “You okay?”

“B-Better.” Keith stood up, still holding onto the otter. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith and held him tightly. “I’m glad you’re okay. I’m glad you called instead of…”

“Killing myself?”

“Yeah. I don’t know what I’d do without my little brother. I love you Keith.”

“Yeah… love you too.” Keith mumbled.

“Okay, so I talked to the ghost…” Shiro said as he pulled away after they stood in silence for a while. “It… it is Lance, your Lance.”

Keith’s heart shattered as he fell back into Shiro. He started sobbing uncontrollably, almost dropping Blue in the process.

“He can’t leave your room, and he’s flickering in and out, but if you want to talk to him…”

“I-I… I’m not ready… Shiro, I’m not ready.” Keith said through his sobs. “I’m not ready.”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Lance can wait until you are.” Shiro wrapped his arms back around his brother with a sigh. “In the meantime, you can stay in Matt’s room until you’re to talk to him.”

“Can I stay with you?”

“Yeah, of course.” Shiro closed his eyes.

*-*-*-*-*-*

It was two days before Keith walked into his room. Ardor returned to his side after Shiro went and closed the door to Keith’s room. But he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk to his soulmate, his dead soulmate. He couldn’t just sit in Shiro’s room and mope anymore though.

His heartbeat was deafening as he held onto the doorknob. Ardor was at his heals, Blue on his back. He wasn’t sure whether they wanted him to do this or not, but he was going to do it, hopefully.

There was no sign of Lance when he walked into the room. He walked over to his bed and sat down. Keith wasn’t sure he was breathing as he waited. It was stupid of him to do this while Shiro wasn’t home.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, waiting, but he let out a little scream when boy flickered into view.

“Oh my-… fuck, I’m sorry… I’ve been here for a while trying to…” Lance buried his face in his hands, groaning. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m new to… this…”

Keith stared at him. He looked almost exactly like the picture Hunk had shown him, except transparent. Blue jumped off Ardor’s back and ran to Lance. Lance bent down with a surprised gasp, reaching to hold the otter. “You’re my…”

“His name is Blue.” Keith said, finally looking away.

“Blue…” Lance said it softly as he picked up the otter. The otter made a noise of contentment as he settled into Lance’s arms.

Ardor nudged Keith’s knee. Keith looked back up at Lance, with a sad smile. Lance was looking at him too. This isn’t how Keith had imagined meeting his soulmate as a kid, but it probably wasn’t how Lance imagined it either.

“I’m sorry.” It was Lance that spoke first. Keith could tell by his tone that his apology was honest but…

“For what?” Keith creased his eyebrows as he stared at Lance.

“Dying.” Lance frowned as he walked closer to Keith. “I-I… meeting you, it’s… it was always something I… I wanted a fairy tale romance with my soulmate. Not… not this. I’m sorry.”

Keith wiped his face, taking a few deep breaths. “A-At least we’re… meeting.”

“I-I guess, but… it’s not… is this enough for you? I… your brother couldn’t touch me, and I can’t leave this room.” Lance looked down.

“I just want… I want to know you.” Keith closed his eyes. Hunk telling him about Lance had helped, but getting to know Lance, that was an opportunity he’d never thought he’d get. “I want to really know you, so I can… so you’re not just an idea to mourn anymore.”

“You’ve met Hunk, he could tell you so much about me. Outside of my family, there isn’t anyone that…”

Keith shook his head. “It isn’t the same. He can tell me what you do… what you did, but he can’t tell me how you feel- felt… thought…”

“Keith.” It was the first time Lance had said his name, and Keith loved the way it sounded in his voice. “I don’t know why I stuck around, but I know that if you get to know me, and I get to know you… we’ll… we’ll fall in love and I won’t want to leave you. Will you be able to leave this room? Where I’m stuck?”

He couldn’t look at Lance. The answer was clear. Talking to Lance for just a few minutes, he already didn’t want to go. Lance cared about him so much, and they didn’t even know each other. It was unfair, unfair that Keith couldn’t have Lance, unfair that Lance wasn’t still alive to spread his light and live his dreams.

“Do you not want…” Keith couldn’t find the words to finish his thoughts.

“There isn’t anything I want more than to get to know you.” Lance took another step forward, reaching out for Keith but let his hand fall. “But not… not like this. We’re not… I’m sixteen, I’m stuck being sixteen forever. I can’t grow, I can’t… All I can do is hold you back. I’m not worth it Keith.”

Keith’s eyes went wide as he stared at Lance. Hunk had mentioned how much Lance sometimes put himself down, but Keith didn’t expect him to be this bad. “Of course, you’re worth it… Lance… you’re my soulmate. I… I want… you, whatever I can with… I-I…”

Lance stared at him for a while before setting Blue down. He reached for Ardor, running his fingers down the tiger’s back. “Keith.”

“Please… don’t go… I-I…” Keith stared back him for a while.

“If you want…” Lance smiled. “If you’re sure, I’ll be here… for you.”

Keith reached for him, putting his hand over Lance’s on Ardor’s back. Lance flickered out for a moment then reappeared with a frown.

“But you have to promise me something.” Lance said as if he hadn’t just done that. Keith whined a little, retreating his hands away. “You won’t just stay here. You’ll go out with your brother, with Hunk, your other friends. Live your life.”

“Okay.” Keith closed his eyes tightly. He wasn’t sure he could keep his promise. Lance was right there, all he ever thought he wanted, and he couldn’t even touch him, not as he was.

*-*-*-*-*-*

It had been a few weeks and sitting and talking with Lance felt so right. They couldn’t touch, but they could both touch their animal companions, which helped make it feel more natural. Shiro acted like it wasn’t a big deal when he walked in to talk to Keith and they were on the bed talking. Keith knew it made his brother uncomfortable, but he was glad he was trying for him. Matt fainted the first time he walked in and saw Lance. The second time he was begging Keith and Lance to let him do a study.

They’d talk about anything. Keith would tell Lance how Hunk was, how school was, but he tried to limit it because he could see how much it hurt to hear about things he couldn’t do. Mostly they talked about their childhoods. Lance groaned in embarrassment when Keith brought up that Lance called Ardor a girl for most of his life.

While Keith talked about his shitty childhood, Lance frowned, reaching for him. Lance had figured out how not to disappear when touched, but the part of his would fade out for a moment before reforming. Keith hugged Blue tight as he talked about it, telling Lance that he did help him through those years, technically.

Lance’s childhood sounded better, no uncontrollable bouts of rage or beatings from foster parents, but it wasn’t perfect. His family loved him, but it was so big that sometimes he got lost. Ardor was the only thing he could count on for consistent support, just like Keith would’ve been had they met before.

“So, uh…” Lance rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at Keith. “Sh-Shiro said something the first time we talked and… I just…”

“What?” Keith swallowed hard as he paused his hand that he was petting Ardor with.

“That when I died… when Ardor found you… you…” Lance shook his head. “What happened?”

“I-I…” Keith took a shuddering breath as he looked away. Ardor licked his face. He took off his gloved and pushed up his sleeves. Lance gasped, and Keith could feel the cold of Lance reaching for him. “I tried to join you.”

“Keith… there’s… you… why?” 

“You… the idea of my soulmate was the only thing that had kept me going for so long, and without the chance of meeting you…” Keith closed his eyes tightly as he crossed his arms across his chest to hide the scars. “It was stupid, I know… but I still sometimes…”

“Someday, far from now, we’ll be together, on this side, and I’m going to be so happy, but I will wait forever until then.”

“I know, but it’s hard. It’s so hard. I want to be with you, really with you.” Keith felt tears falling down his cheeks.

“Keith, look at me, please?” Lance’s hand was close to his face when Keith opened his eyes. “You will find someone else, I _want_ you to be with someone else who makes you happy. I enjoy talking to you, learning about you, telling you about me… but this can’t last forever. I want to move on, I don’t want to be stuck here. I don’t want _you_ to be stuck here.”

Sobbing, Keith grabbed Ardor. “But…”

“No, you… I’m sorry… I can’t… You need some time away from this.” Lance flickered away. Keith shrieked, throwing himself towards the space Lance had been occupying.

Shiro ran in, panic on his face. “What the… Keith?”

“He left… Shiro… he…”

Sighing, Shiro walked over and rubbed his back. “Is he gone for good?”

“I d-don’t know… I-I… I just want…”

*-*-*-*-*-*

After a few days without seeing or hearing anything from Lance, he woke up feeling like someone was watching him. He called out to Lance but didn’t get an answer and he didn’t see him in the room. Then a few nights later, he woke up and saw the smoky figure he’d seen Lance as for a moment before he heard a quiet apology and it disappeared. Lance was watching him to make sure he was still okay. It only made Keith more desperate.

Hunk came over on a day off to work on homework, and hang out. He left the room for a moment and Keith was sitting on his bed when Lance appeared near him.

“Hey, I-I… I’m sorry, about the last time… and sometimes watching you…” Lance rubbed his face. “I just… I want you to go and live your life… and if you can’t do it for you, then do it for me, because I can’t. I had that taken from me and… and you have to do it for me, okay?”

“I-I… I know… I know… I’m sorry.” Keith got off the bed and walked towards him. He reached his hand out, flat and palm out to Lance. “I just… I’m trying so hard, but… I…”

“Just don’t give up okay? Not on yourself, not on your life.” Lance put his hand up, putting it as close as he dared. Keith could almost feel the hand, and it sent a shiver down his spine.

“I’ll keep trying.” Keith gave him half a smile. “Just, don’t… unless you’re… you’re going whatever’s next, don’t go away again.”

“I won’t. But get out of the house more… go see Hunk or-…”

There was a shriek behind Lance and both boys turned to see Hunk standing in the door, shaking. He was pointed at Lance, his mouth moving but not making any noise.

“Hunk.” Lance said, surprise obvious in voice as he stared at his best friend.

“No, no, no…” Hunk kept repeating, shaking his head. Keith walked towards him, taking his hand.

“Hey, hey, Hunk, calm down.” Keith said it softly, trying to get Hunk’s attention away from Lance for just a moment. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“That’s…”

“I know, I know. I know. I should’ve told you, I’m sorry. I-I…” Keith’s grip on Hunk’s hand tightly. “Look at me.”

“That’s Lance.”

“Yeah.”

“But Lance is…” Hunk closed his eyes and then opened them again, trying to will it to be a dream. “Dead.”

“Yeah, he died, but he didn’t… he didn’t go anywhere.”

“No, no… ghosts aren’t real.” Hunk pulled away from Keith and walked out of the room.

Keith looked back at Lance, who just motioned towards the door and flickered away. Groaning, Keith followed after Hunk.

“That was _Lance_.” Hunk said it when he finally stopped walking away, turning to Keith. “Your… this is why you’ve been… oh my…”

“Breath, Hunk, man, I need you to breath.” Keith put a hand on Hunk’s shoulder.

“You’ve been living with your soulmate’s _ghost_ … Keith, this isn’t… you can’t…”

“I know it’s crazy, but… I-I… I’m okay, really, I am.” Keith smiled at him. “It’s been nice, getting to know him.”

“But Keith… Lance was my best friend, and I’ve wish for three years that I could see him again, but this isn’t… you can’t live your life like this.” Hunk pushed Keith’s hand off his shoulder. Keith felt himself pale at the words.

“That’s what Lance keeps telling me.” Keith looked away and rubbed his arm. “Just let me have this, please?”

“Oh… fucking… okay, fine, if this is happening, fine, but… if I ask you to hang out, you have to hang out, no excuses, okay?” Hunk pointed at, glaring at him.

“Okay, okay.” Keith huffed out. “You should go talk to him. I know he misses you.”

Hunk looked conflicted for a moment, glancing at the doorway to Keith’s room. “Are you sure it’s a good idea? I mean it might be different with me, I mean you’re his…”

“He talks to Shiro and Matt fine when they’re in there. It’ll be okay.” Keith gave him an encouraging smile. “If you’re not okay with it, it doesn’t have to happen all the time, but you… you should at least say ‘hi’ to him.”

Nodded, Hunk walked towards the door. Before he crossed the threshold, he looked back. “Are you not…?”

“I’ll give you guys some privacy.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

“You’re not going out dressed like that, are you?” Lance said when Keith came back into his room after changing.

Keith looked down at himself and then up at the ghost with a confused look. “What do you mean? I look fine.”

“You’re dressed exactly like you do for class. You’re going to dance club, don’t you want to maybe catch someone’s eye?” Lance held a hand out towards Keith, giving him a half smile. Keith crossed his arms and looked away. “You’re twenty years old, you’ve never dated anyone. It’s been three years since…”

“But you’re right here!” Keith closed his eyes.

“Just give someone with a pulse a chance, for me?” Lance moved closer and Keith shivered at the cold radiated from the ghost. “Besides, I kind of want to see what you look like if you put in the effort.”

Keith glanced up at him through his bangs but eventually sighed and went into his closet. He pushed his clothes around for a while before throwing something over his arm and leaving the room again.

Lance was grinning when Keith came back into the room. Keith felt his face heat up from the attention. He had changed everything about his outfit except his jeans. Ditched the hoodie for button down and leather jacket. Slipped off his sneakers for a pair of boots. His hair was back in a low ponytail.

“Are you… wearing makeup?” Lance sounded out of breath as he asked once he was closer.

“Does it look bad?” Keith had put on eyeliner and some clear-glittery lip-gloss.

“No… you look great. I just didn’t expect you to be the kind of guy to do that.” Lance shrugged. “You’re pretty butch.”

“Makeup isn’t just for girls…” Keith mumbled.

“Hey Keith, Hunk’s already at the club with his friends, you ready to go?” Shiro peaked his head into the room.

Turing to look at his brother, Keith burst out laughing. Shiro had his hair up like a mohawk, but it was too much to be a real mohawk. “You look ridiculous.”

“Matt says I look hot.” Shiro pouted before looking at Lance. “What do you think Lance?”

“I’d definitely agree with Matt, you look great Shiro.” Lance gave Shiro finger guns and winked.

With a groaning, Keith just pushed Shiro out of his room. “You’re both so… let’s just go Shiro. See ya later Lance.”

“Have fun Keith, and if you bring someone home, I promise I won’t be here.”

Keith swallowed hard, his face paling as he continued pushing on Shiro. The older man put his arm around Keith’s shoulder. “So, Lance wants you to find some new huh? What are you going to do?”

“I-I… I’m going to try to have fun tonight, and we’ll see what happens.” Blue chittered and reached towards him, and Keith smiled as he picked him up so he could settle around his shoulders. Ardor nudged into his leg. “But when people see me with two animals, they know… they don’t want my baggage, they know that if I’m looking for someone… I’m playing for keeps and most people are just looking for their soulmate.”

“But that doesn’t mean you should close yourself off. You have your soulmate’s support to look, so look.” Shiro smiled at him. “Isn’t it different, hearing it from him?”

“Yeah.”

When they got to the club, Hunk was sitting at a booth with two beautiful women. He barely looked at them when they approached them though, too busy staring into the larger of the women’s eyes. Rocky was laying on the back of bear what was taking up most of the space next to the table.

“I’m Allura, I was a friend of Hunk and Lance’s in high school.” The thinner, darker skinned woman stood up and held her hand out to the three men.

Keith glanced at Matt, who looked like he was about to faint about how beautiful she was before smiling and taking her hand out.

“I’m Keith.”

“Hunk’s talked a lot about you.” Allura then turned to Shiro.

“Takashi Shirogane, but you can Shiro.” Shiro held his hand out. Their hands never made it together as they were pushed together by a pair of lions.

Keith’s attention went to the black male lion that had pushed Allura. He was now walking past Rose, brushing against her, their tails knotting together as they stood next to the new person.

Matt put a hand around Keith’s shoulders and pulled him away as they started talking. Keith felt himself shaking when Matt got him away. Hunk and Shiro had both just met their soulmates, their living breathing soulmates. 

“You going to be okay?” Matt had a hand firmly on either of Keith’s shoulders, staring at him.

“Y-Yeah… Just need a minute.” Keith put one hand in Ardor’s fur and the other in Blue’s, trying to ground himself. “Just… it’s different, seeing my brother… I’m happy for him.”

“And Hunk?”

“Yeah, of course.” Keith took a few deep breaths before looking up at Matt. “L-let’s get some drinks and maybe… try to dance or something. Maybe it’ll be enough time that we can get some conversation in.”

Matt smiled, leading him towards the bar. Once they got drinks, Keith was introduced to a group of Matt’s friends. He was surprised at how attractive and cool they were, he was expecting nerds out of every teen movie.

Eventually the group got out onto the dance floor, and Keith almost forgot about Hunk and Shiro getting to know their soulmates, about Lance alone at home. He was having fun, letting loose. It was primarily with the girls, but when they started grinding on him, Matt gently told them that Keith wasn’t interested in their equipment. That was enough for one of the guys, the most attractive of them with a blue snake wrapped around his neck like a necklace, to start dancing a little closer to him.

Keith found himself moving closer to him too until the guy asked him if he wanted to take a break. He let himself be led back to the bar where the guy bought him a drink and asked him about himself. They were laughing, so much that Keith couldn’t breath.

But then things changed. The friendly, but flirty hand on his lower back had moved practically to his ass. There was a hand on his thigh, moving closer and closer to his crotch. He was so close, and Keith wasn’t enjoying it the same way he had been on the dance floor.

“Why don’t we get out of here?”

Keith’s heart was pounding in his chest. He had been ready earlier that night to try to reach out, but he did not want to jump into bed with a random stranger. But he was too frozen with shock to say anything.

The guy grinned and pressed his lips against Keith’s. Keith’s first kiss. He reached for his glass with one hand as he pushed on the guy’s shoulder. Once he pushed him off, he threw his glass at him.

Once the shock of what happened subsided, the guy pulled Keith off his chair by the collar of the leather jacket. He was shouting but Keith was panicking too much to know what he was saying. Ardor was growling beside him and Blue sounded even more upset.

“Hey, hey, let go of him.” Shiro’s voice cut in and helped Keith get out of his panicked state.

The guy let go and started walking away, wiping off his face. Keith looked at Shiro with wide eyes.

“Why don’t we get out of here?”

“What about…” Keith felt his voice crack, he was so close to crying.

“Don’t worry about it.” Shiro cupped Keith’s cheek. “You’ve had enough socialization for the day.”

They walked in silence for a while before Shiro finally asked what happened. Keith held Blue close as he told him.

“I’m proud of you, for putting yourself out there and for standing up for yourself.” Shiro smiled at him, but Keith just looked away. “And I’m sorry I kind of ditched you.”

“It’s okay. If… I understand, she’s your soulmate, you wanted to talk to her.” Keith sighed. “What was Hunk’s new soulmate’s name?”

“Shay. She’s pretty great, for him. He feels bad about not introducing you.”

“It’s okay.”

When they got home, Keith locked himself in his room. He sat on his bed and let himself cry. Lance was sitting near him, quietly shushing him.

*-*-*-*-*-*

It had been a few weeks since the club incident, and Keith felt even worse than he did before. Overhearing Shiro talking to Allura on the phone, or watching Hunk text Shay made him uneasy. Lance kept asking if he was okay, if there was something he could do, but there wasn’t.

He’d seen the guy from the club on campus, and they had both apologized, but it didn’t help Keith. Keith just wanted to feel something the way he felt when he was with Lance but be able to touch him, be able to really be with them. He wanted to be with Lance, but he couldn’t tell Lance that.

A particularly bad day at school, a bunch of assignments returned with poor grades and witnessing another first meeting in the cafeteria, he was ready. Matt was still at the school. Shiro was in the shower and would be for some time. Lance couldn’t do anything.

“Hey, you don’t look so good?” Lance phrased it as more of a question as he appeared in the room. Keith glanced at him and sat down on the floor next to his bed facing his nightstand.

As Keith slipped off his jacket and gloves, Lance moved closer. “Keith, talk to me.”

Keith pulled a knife out of his drawer and stared at the blade. “It’s okay Lance.”

“No, Keith, whatever you’re planning on doing… talk to me. We can…” Lance’s form was crotched next to him.

“We’ll be together, really together.” Keith rested back against the bed as he traced down the scar on his wrist. “I’ll be…”

“No, Keith, there are so many things you’ll never get to do if you do this, please. Being a ghost, being stuck… there’s not even a guarantee you’ll be a ghost.” Lance was reached towards him, but his hands just disappeared when he tried to touch him or the knife.

“It’s okay.” Keith said quietly before digging the blade into his flesh with a cathartic look on his face.

Lance shrieked his soulmate’s name as the two animals stood far away, staring in horror. Keith weakly managed to move the knife into the hand he’d just cut and slash his other wrist. There was so much blood.

“No… no…” Lance moved so he was standing. He could hear the shower running and he screamed as he closed his eyes.

When he opened them again he was in the bathroom, and he tried to call out to the man in the shower, but he didn’t even hear his own voice. He glanced at the mirror, and even with the fog, he couldn’t see a shadow of himself like could in the full length mirror in Keith’s room. Moving forward, he pulled back the shower curtain. Shiro shrieked and looked around.

“Lance?” Shiro said as he covered himself.

Lance looked back at the mirror. ‘HELP KEITH’ he wrote in the steam, but he didn’t see Shiro looking at it. He turned on the sink faucet and Shiro finally looked at the message. The man didn’t even turn off the shower as he got out of the tub, reaching for a robe.

Lance rushed ahead of Shiro back to Keith’s side. He really wished he could cry.

“Wh-Where’s you go?” Keith said weakly as he rolled his head to look at the ghost.

Shiro came in then, repeatedly saying ‘no, no’. He moved next to Keith and searched for Keith’s phone. As he started talking to the 911 dispatcher, Keith moved his head to look at Shiro.

“It’s okay Shiro, this is…”

“Just stay with me Keith, you…” Shiro grunted as he pulled open a dresser drawer near them to pulled out a bunch of whatever. He put the dispatcher on speaker, talking to her as he wrapped Keith’s wrists. Keith tried to pull away, but he was too weak from blood loss to fight back.

The ambulance was quick, and Lance smiled at Keith gently as he heard them coming up the stairs. “You stay, you stay alive. Or I’ll never forgive you.” 

He disappeared before the paramedics came into the room.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Keith was released from the hospital several days later and Shiro blocked him from going into his room.

“Come on Shiro.”

“No. You… is seeing Lance going to help?” Shiro crossed his arms.

“Help? Nothing is going to help Shiro.”

“Something has to help Keith. You can’t… I won’t let you throw your life away like this. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet.”

“You’re… why couldn’t you just let me…”

“Because Lance came and got me, he told me to save you. He doesn’t want you to die.” Shiro looked away from his brother. “He wants to move on, to whatever is after.”

“What?” Keith’s voice broke as he looked at Shiro.

“But he can’t, not while you’re so… while you’re unhappy. All he wants is for you to find happiness, to live your full life.”

“No, why would he…”

“He’s dead Keith, he needs to move on and continue on his path. You do to, but not with him, not yet.” Shiro had said it a hundred times in a hundred ways, but never when Keith was already so broken. “What do you think would’ve happened if I would’ve let you bleed out in there? What exactly did you think you and Lance could have, dead, stuck forever without being able to grow? He doesn’t want that for you, he doesn’t want it for himself. You think it’s fair to ask him to stay in that room forever because you won’t let go?”

Keith stared at Shiro for a while, before letting out a breath and looking down. “But what do I do? How… How do I stop feeling like this? How…”

“You talk to someone, me, Hunk, even Lance, maybe the therapist that your doctor recommended.” Shiro put a hand on his shoulder. “Please, get help Keith, for yourself, and for everyone that cares about you. I can’t find you like that again… I don’t know what I’d do.”

Nodding, Keith wrapped his arms around his brother. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry Shiro.”

“It’s okay.” Shiro ran his fingers through his brother’s hair. “Now, I think you really owe Lance an apology.”

Keith whined as he pressed his face into Shiro’s chest. “I-Is he mad at me?”

“Furious, and worried.” Shiro pulled away and smiled down at him. “And don’t bother looking for any blades if you get any urges. I even have the forks and butter knifes locked up somewhere safe.”

Huffing, Keith glanced at the two animals, both of which had been distant since that day.

“Good luck tiger.” Shiro winked at him before opening the door. Ardor and Blue both ran inside, and Keith could hear Lance greet them. Keith took a few deep breaths before he walked into the room.

Lance looked up at him from petting the two animals. He smiled at Keith before walking over. Without either of them thinking they both reached out for a hug. Surprisingly to both of them, they were touching. Keith closed his eyes tightly, relishing in the feeling of Lance in his arms, even if he didn’t feel human, real. It was difficult to describe exactly what it felt like, not completely solid, but able to be felt as if it was.

It meant that Lance’s ghost was getting stronger, which meant it was getting harder for him to move on, more likely for him to lose who he was in life.

“Oh my… Keith… I’m so glad you’re… I’m…”

Keith was crying now, still holding onto the semisolid form of the ghost. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know you want me to live, and… and I’m going to try… to live for you, because you couldn’t… I’m going to get help, help to move on so you can too.”

“Oh Keith… I just… I just want you to be able to smile, I want you to be happy that we’ve had this time together, that… not that we couldn’t be together.” Lance rubbed his back. “Whatever you need from me, you just let me know.”

“I will, I’m… I’m glad we got to meet, even if it wasn’t like I…”

“Me too.”

Keith was having trouble, keeping his promise to Lance and Shiro, even after a few therapy sessions. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, even if he tried to force himself to just keep going out and doing things he should’ve enjoyed. Eventually he talked to his therapist and his parents and spent all of semester break in a mental facility. Hunk, Matt, and Shiro all came to visit him, but he kind of wished that he could see Lance.

When he got back to the house, he was surprised at how much better he felt. He had been reluctant when his doctor recommended it, but it had helped. Being stuck, really put things in perspective in a way that Keith didn’t expect.

“Lance?” Keith called as he walked into his room. He’d spent several days at his parents and then a few at Hunk’s before going back, but he was ready to face Lance. It would’ve been easier if he could’ve told his therapists about Lance without them assuming he had a pyscotic break, but he really was feeling better.

“Keith!” Lance appeared, already hugging Keith. He felt a little more solid, looked a little more solid than the last time Keith had seen him. “You’re back!”

“Yeah, I am.” Keith rested their foreheads together.

“You okay? Feeling any better?” Lance was searching his face and Keith couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I feel surprisingly better. Not a hundred percent, but better.” Keith smiled at him. “I’m going to keep working at it.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.”

*-*-*-*-*-*

Keith had finding himself out of the house more and more, but not like he was avoiding it. He always looked forward to the time he spent with Shiro and Matt in the living room talking about their days, and laying in bed with Lance, even if it was a little creepy that Lance just kind of watched him sleep. He was having fun, and he had made friends with people other than Hunk. 

He was doing so much better, he could tell than everyone in his life was happier for it. Seeing Shiro and Matt and Hunk just look relaxed when they talked to him about anything helped. It wasn’t just his own life that was affected by his decisions, he had a lot of people who were alive and wanted him to stay that way.

Lance was the happiest that he was happier. Keith knew that it meant he was probably going to leave him soon, and it made him sad, made him ache. He didn’t want to have to mourn Lance again, but he had been preparing for it for a while.

“Hey, Lance.” Keith said as he was sitting on his bed, reading an article for class.

Lance looked up at him from where he was playing with Blue and Ardor. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s… good. I just wanted to tell you something.” Keith smiled at him, setting down his laptop.

“Okay?” Lance crawled up onto the bed, putting a hand on Keith’s knee.

Keith put his hand on Lance’s cheek. He was still cold to the touch, and not solid, but it would be enough for what Keith in whatever time they had left together. “I love you.”

Lance’s eyes went wide, and then he smiled at Keith sadly. “Keith…”

“No, I mean that I… I love you, and it’s the reason I’ll be okay when you’re gone. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that.”

The smile on Lance’s face grew, bleeding into his eyes. “I just want you to live your life, for you, but if you have to live it for me or Shiro, or your parents to keep you from… then I’ll take it.”

Keith smiled back at him. “We’ll see each other again someday, but I’ll try to put it off for at least a few decades.”

“I’d like that.” Lance pressed in close. “I love you too.”

Taking a deep breath, Keith took a chance and pressed his lips to Lance’s. It didn’t feel anything like the kiss that had been forced on his months before, but it didn’t matter if it didn’t feel real because the meaning was real.

When Keith pulled away, Lance was smiling at him, but he looked different. He was glowing, and not like he did when he sometimes flickered into a figure bathed in flames. Slowly, he was also becoming more transparent. Keith smiled, but he felt tears rolling down his eyes.

“I-I… I didn’t think it would be this quick…” Lance looked down at his hands and then up at Keith. “I-I… I could…”

“No, go. I’ll be okay. I’ll miss you, but I’ll be okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. I love you so much Lance.”

“Until next time.” Lance then disappeared, sparkles lingered around Keith as Ardor and Blue both came to comfort him as he sobbed.

By the time Shiro came to summon him for dinner, the sparkles were gone, but Keith was still crying. Shiro crawled into bed with him, shushing him.

“He’s gone. He’s gone Shiro.”

“Keith, it’s okay…”

“I know, I know… I’m happy for him, I couldn’t ask him to stay forever… but I miss him…” Keith leaned into Shiro, still holding onto the tiger and otter.

“What can I do?”

“What you’ve always done.”

“Being your annoying big brother?” Shiro smiled as pressed his face into Keith’s hair.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“It’ll be okay, you know that right?”

“Yeah, and so will I.” Keith smiled as he let his eyes close. “I’ll be okay, but I won’t forget him.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: [parsimoniousbitch](http://parsimoniousbitch.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter: [@kukiwrites](https://twitter.com/kukiwrites)


End file.
